I wrote this whole entry out the first time and then in the upload everything but the title got lost…kinda ironic when you read the first part of the re-written entry.

I can’t stand the entry titles I come up with…sound so full of themselves! As if “Something Kinda Cool Happened” is suppose to make you want to actual read the post; as if I had something intelligible to contribute to the blogosphere; as if all I needed was the title and the rest is just gravy for anyone who might be passing by on my blog. Anyway…

Self-criticism is something that I desire in an almost masochistic manner. A couple of days ago, I was sitting in a writers meeting with some volunteers and a co-worker. As usual with our creative meetings, we have spurts of getting a bunch done, sandwiched between tangents of nothingness. in one of these boughs of meaningless conversation, I turned to my co-worker (whose biggest strength/weakness is directness) and said, “What is your biggest criticism of me?”. (I will preface this by saying that I felt comfortable asking this person this question because I know that she genuinely loves me as a brother and would never say anything out of malice to hurt me.) Her reply was, “You don’t let people finish what they are saying or their thought-” to which I (no kidding) interrupted and said “i don’t think that is true…” Then I immediately realized that I just proved her right.

The more I thought about it, I realized that I cut people off allot…and I think it is directly tied to my pride. I either don’t think what the other person is saying is worth listening to or I think that I know what they are going to say and my response is more important than letting them finish. Then after even more thinking, (needless to say my head was hurting at this point) I came to the shocking (but true) conclusion that not only had I uncovered an area of huge self-pride, but I also was a horrible listener. At least I was a horrible listener anytime I felt like I had something to contribute (pretty much all the time).

I guess the only solace is that I am able to recognize it and ask for strength in that area of my life. The Father keeps bring this verse to mind: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore i will boas all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9