Tonight was the first night(since being at my new job) that I have experienced what I would consider failure…there was a small play that was I was directing as part of a Christmas evening and to say that it didn’t go well is an understatement. There was a lot of technical issues, people going over other peoples cues, the music selections were not the best (definitely my fault). There are tons of excuses why, not the least of which was not having proper dress rehearsals; not that they weren’t planned, but at the last minute they were moved around and interrupted outside of my control.
However, none of that changes the fact that it is my responsibility to make sure that regardless of what happens or doesn’t happen prior to the opening line, that the show goes off without a hitch. Needless to say, I am really disappointed in this evening. In reality the majority of the issues were with tech not with anyone up on stage. In fact, the performers did a great job, especially considering the lack of rehearsal time. And the fact that the tech side was to blame makes it even more on my shoulders.

But….

The one thing that Becky keeps reminding me and that is whispered in a still small voice in my spirit is that none of this caught God by surprise. Not the fact that this was the night the Senior Pastor was there, not the fact that there were also over 750 people, not the fact that I am sure there were some non-beleivers watching, nor the fact that this was a presentation of His Sons’ birth. (In fact, I would almost expect failure simply because there is to much potential for me to think that I am to credit if everything had gone off without a hitch) And I turned this show over to Him from the very beginning: both the areas I had control over and those I didn’t. Now prayer and giving a project to the Father is never an excuse to not put forth a 110% effort; but somethings I simple can’t control and regardless, I MUST trust in the fact that He will use this show somehow to bring glory to Himself. I MUST trust in the fact that He will guide the show this evening and while I am going to do everything I can to avoid the mishaps of tonight, ultimately it is His show and He will have His way with it. I MUST seek to pursue excellence and use the gifts He has given me to the best of my ability.
And everything else I leave in His hands. Because if I allow this to taint or distract me from my Joy in the Lord, then I have let this trial become about me and not about what God can do through/inspite of me.