The Hormone Hostage Handbook
  • 22
  • 03
The Hormone Hostage Handbook

I got this in an email from my mom….it is so true….=)
Subject: (27) The Hormone Hostage Handbook

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Stink
12. Pack My Stuff……..And my favorite one…
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks…but chocolate sings.
Another thing to giggle about… My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good moo d, it turns green. When I’m in a b ad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.

Comments (0)

Leave a reply

Should you ever have a question, please dont hesitate to send a message or reach out on our social media.
More News
The Hormone Hostage Handbook
  • 27 Oct 2005
  • 0
I received this in an email and completely agree… This is a prayer request for a man in need of prayer. Please, take a moment...
The Hormone Hostage Handbook
  • 23 Jan 2008
  • 0
A friend sent this to me…It is an interesting perspective…read it and let me know what you think… The one thing that bothers me about...